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5-13-13
OMG how long has it been!? No more blog for me. Between texting (912 275-0222), my Christmas letters, a small use of Facebook and Instagram who needs this little buggar. It is a new era, so if you want me find me at one of those places.

9-01-11 Thursday
Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, if you say it the first of the month you'll have good luck according to my great grandmother. I remembered today! Who needs a blog when there is FB etc in today's world? Here is a quick update and I don't know if I'll ever revisit this: Had a fabulous birthday party at OF in March. No reoccurance so far of John's blocked intestine and his February time in the hospital. In the olden days he'd have died and I'd have been really mad. The dog of my heart finally departed this earth April sixth. He persisted so much longer than we could ever have hoped, but the complications of his many ailments finally compromised his quality of life to the point we had to put him to sleep. In his final hour he chased a cat outside the vet and was very proud of himself. The next month John's mom died from Parkinson's and failure to thrive. The Sunday before she died we sat on her porch and enjoyed the hummingbirds at her feeder. Now will have to learn to live with freedom from so many responsibilities. John spent the last year being "on call" never more than a short time away from Edith as she'd become distressed and the caregivers couldn't calm her. I still play duplicate bridge, slowly improving but enjoying it and the people I meet through it. Margaret is a great teacher which helps, plus I have a marvelous partner in Little Joyce. I still take a computer lesson a week, cheaper than a shrink. But am considering taking the web site down. It went up five years ago before all the social media existed and is now dated. All my siblings kid's have grown up in the interim! Of course John and I haven't aged a bit.

2-17-11 Thursday
I can tell I wasn't made to blog. Once I stopped I never went back. A year flew by. Brief update: John's mom has gone over the edge with Parkinson's dementia; we still have the two pups who run our lives; I've learned to love the Iphone; John loves his Ipad. I've not turned over a new leaft at the spa; John's small intestine obstruction is gone for now; we almost never get to spend time in Asheville, a huge regret. Sea Island is now home. Enough said!

1-20-10 Wednesday
Ok I didn't die but the computer did. Then I had to BUY new software to be able to get into ths site for updates. And once I was behind I got really behind. We spend New Year's in LA at the Rose Bowl with Mitch and Barb; the most beautiful weather ever for us at that event, even better than when we lived there. Came home to cold (meaning 30ish degrees) and all over the south similar brrrr. Frannie has been here for a couple of weeks in Tay Lane, we've had a blast and played a lot of bridge. John is not going to Haiti with the PC-12. I am using the new phone, love it as a computer not so much as a phone. Decided I had to switch since we went to Los Angeles commercial and I couldn't shlep my laptop and enough shoes to make it for six days. Just came back from Asheville and Randall Ledford's 60th birthday celebration, plus a fun dinner with Frannie and Uncle Jack at the Inn on Biltmore Estate. Still had snow on the ground there and lots of damage from the bad weather. I've been to the spa four times in two weeks. Maybe I'm turning over a new leaf? I hope so.

11-18-09 Wednesday
I have a new computer and this one is dying a painful death. For now I won't be able to get in here. It's a great excuse to avoid writing. All to note, of late, is dogs are hanging in there. Vet thinks Spike's time is running out. Other symptoms are appearing, likely related to the cancer. We get up in the middle of the night at least once and maybe twice for instance. Still he's the happiest dog in the world. I am unpacking Christmas decorations from 2 1/2 years ago which is when the St. Louis house sold and our things went into storage. I just couldn't face it last year when we didn't even put up a tree. The other SI cottage hasn't sold so we loan it out whenever possible. Keeps guests out from under our feet. Thanksgiving is a week away - time is speeding up as I get older. Will be going to LA for the Rose Bowl and New Year's. Our last time with Mitch as the CEO. Fred just left and hit a homerun with Edith and her friends lecturing on hummers. Hot Toes and John went to SIMCOM in Florida for amusement recently. There is no better weather than here right now. 75 degrees during the day. This is winter? Hurricane season was a no-show. I am going to start using the IPhone soon but dread the transition of phone number (from 314 St. Louis area code to being a local 912 275-0222 Georgia girl) and habit patterns. By February 2010 I will switch. I will. I will...

10-08-09 Thursday
Facebook seems to have replaced the website for me. Started on FB to see nephew Stephen's photos about 18 months ago. Then with the AHS's 40th reunion my "friends' network exploded. I enjoy checking it a couple of times a week. Ok that's it for excuses. Since June...August 30th reunion in Athens. No John (in Oshkosh) but fun. Drove there for the first time (spoiled in the past as John flew us) in a terrible rain storm. Two fun nights reconnecting. Hopefully friendships re-established can be maintained. Thank goodness I didn't peak in high school. John's own hangar has become a reality. He has a 40 year lease and it was built from scratch. Holds both planes, with a lovely office, bath, storage room and workshop. His life goal achieved. How can we ever consider moving away now? Edith turned 91, refused any celebration so the three of us dined at Colt and Allison. Uncle Jack turned 89 on 10-19; the party was the Gunns and us and a birthday cake with fallen icing at the Red Stag in Biltmore Village. Robin & Mike visited; she shattered her shoulder opening a dog gate. Had Joyce's 50th b-day Sept 25th here. 60+ ladies with John & Huitt tending bar. Carolyn Carter and Joyce, along with Margaret teaching bridge and Spike not dying yet are the best things about SI. John off to Webb AF reunion tomorrow. Had a tooth implant procedure Tuesday. My life has been spent with dentists. Hania passed CNA certification and is working. Life is good.

6-22-09 (& 6-28)
Just did some site maintenance and thought I'd stop in here too. Set records for heat this month; very early for temperatures so warm. We hear it is everywhere. Hania passed both her CNA tests!! We are thrilled for her. June 16th was the anniversary of Frank's death, two years ago. Uncle Jack, the Gunns and Caney +2 were here for a week in early June. John flew up and got Jack and we returned him in time to see Elizabeth be presented at Rhododendron. Uncle Jack stayed with us and the rest at "Blair House" (AKA the Tay Lane cottage). Who knew people would visit here in the summer? Most locals are gone. Stu et al will visit July 4th and Sam and company a couple of weeks later. Joe is officially off the church roles so he'll finally have a real break. Edith doesn't do well when we leave, so trips are short. Had Caroline Carter and Gayle Brown and Meg Crews to bridge. Barbara brought great dog toys to the pups; poor Cinny stays behind (Crowfield has a one dog rule) and the spoiled, sick Spike travels with us. He LOVES to fly and she hates it, so it isn't as unfair as it sounds. John took Sheila & Ronnie Miller flying, neither had ever been in a plane before and they are both over 35 years old. Went to Davis Love's house for a "cookout" to benefit the Land Trust. (And I thought we had a lot of things to take care of!) The US Open trophy was in the Ocean Forest golf shop so we went to see it while there for lunch.

5-31-09 Sunday
No one (or pup) died last month, thank goodness. My niece Sarah, Bo's #2 daughter, will join Sam's oldest Catherine at UGA next year. Dad would have been thrilled. Edith continues unhappy and now slightly less mentally crisp, to be expected at 90 1/2+ I suppose. We snuck away from her for 5 days and went to Asheville - a first since we moved here. At Riverside I bleached headstones, weeded, cleaned plots and planted grass. Mother would have liked that. Cinny is still crazy despite the meds; Spike couldn't be better, considering. John's golf isn't much improved, nor is my bridge. Stuart's husband Joe was laid off last week. I believe he'll land on his feet. Am reading "Still Alice" trying to face my horror of also getting Alzheimer?s. Every time I forget something I feel terror. My AHS memories are so scanty our upcoming reunion is a bit nerve racking. Going without John will be challenging but he has a critical Oshkosh commitment. Wish I could take Spike instead.  We ate outside and admired the view of the water tonight however hurricane season starts tomorrow. The hummingbirds flew around us like crazy. It is a really pretty place here; I wanted to retire to Scottsdale, AZ. Not much water there! SI was John's pick. I agreed to give it 5-10 years and if it didn't 'feel right' by then we'd relocate. We moved into this cottage almost exactly a year ago. I am one of about three Democrats on our island. We should develop a secret society.

4-09-09 Thursday
I made a grand slam in bridge and wasn't happy because I didn't bid it. That's progress??!? I liked it better being ignorant and happy. Have had visits from Bo and Stu (and families); Sam won't come till summer. Cinnamon started Prozac today due to the panic attacks. We've tried everything else. Plus a doggie shrink may come from the Univ. of FL to help us. You have to have a referral from the vet to be considered. Spike is on three kinds of meds and is still happy as a bug every day. Ginger died a few days ago at 10+ years old, a long life for a bunny. Joyce Mattox and I had a wonderful 90th birthday lunch for Caroline Carter on 3-31, who is an inspiration with her wit and vitality. Loula Brown died (3-27) and the world is a lesser place without her in it. Saw Allen Coggins at her funeral. Quite a nice surprise.

3-23-09 Monday
I didn't think anyone would notice I'd stopped blogging, but Fair did so I said I'd write. Where to start? I joined Facebook to see Stephen's photos last year; all of a sudden lots of my high school classmates are there too. We may have our first reunion (40th) in about 20 years this summer. John will be in Oshkosh but he'd hate it anyway. I just turned 58; fine except for getting the 65+ year old discount for tickets the other day and I certainly didn't ask for it! John's golf is getting worse due to the lessons changing his swing, stance, grip and some other stuff. Poor guy. My bridge continues - a challenge and a pleasure. I figure we'll have the other house here for a while. Taking care of it is time consuming plus little fix it projects there crop up. But how nice to have a guest house with a pool and 3 furnished bedrooms even if it is down the street. Spike is still with us, a medical miracle. Cinny is more neurotic by the day. John's been sick with a horrible cough. He even went to the doctor for about the fourth time in our marriage. I seem to keep finding there isn't enough time in the day to do the stuff I need to do but don't want to do.

12-27-08 Saturday
Edith's house sold; what a relief. If you got our Christmas letter you know we took a sea turtle to Mystic, CT's aquarium from here at Thanksgiving. Plus went to VP in St. Louis for Jorie Jacobi; only for her would he put on a white tie and tails. Spike did not enjoy the middle of the night 7 degree jaunt outside with me in tow wearing pj's and Uggs. Returning to SI we found it 74 degrees and sunny. It is unusually warm, I might add, but John golfed in shorts today claiming it a moral victory. He had two birdies, so the new golf swing is starting to have an impact. I played big money bridge yesterday and lost 35 cents to Joyce's mother. John and I take lessons the first week in January and I hope to become unbeatable. Or at least competent. The counting to 12 is killing me. Spike got a red wagon from Santa, as he can't walk very far anymore. I put his photo on Facebook if you want to see how he looks riding. Mother made me promise to think of her whenever I saw a pelican; John gave me a Steuben one for Christmas. He has his moments. On the other hand, he did try to murder quail at Frannie's Magnolia Plantation, with limited success. I rooted for the birds of course.

11-14-08 Friday
John is in Atlanta, cleaning out Edith's house which we hope will close to new owners next month. We are thrilled to have it under contract to folks who plan to live in it. Edith moved here just about a year ago today, and her adjustments have been numerous. Other happenings include my losing (I actually do know where it is and there is no tooth fairy) a molar, gaining three pounds, being labeled a spammer by Yahoo, celebrating Stuart and Sam's 50th birthday at Bones in Atlanta (which I highly recommend), not having a completed punch list, still not finding the salad spinner and experiencing other equally frustrating side effects of moving including missing my friends!

10-10-08 Friday
Edith turned 90 on Saturday; Sunday we had a surprise brunch for 76 to celebrate. She had no idea and almost didn't attend. John and Anna (her niece) talked her into leaving her apartment despite the fact she felt weak and "shaking to pieces." We'd invited everyone in the "home" and had a huge acceptance rate. A great success; her UTI returned the next day so we've spent more doctor time since. John (& Henry) went to 3 day flight recurrentcy training in south Florida, now he's set for another year of schlepping me around the sky. He declined to pay the last $$ on our house until the punch list is done, so we have been swarmed by workmen daily. Each making a terrible mess fixing whatever is his specialty. Spike has an ultrasound Monday to determine tumor growth. He is not doing so well lately. The vet didn't expect him to live half as long as he already has, but I'm still not ready to let him go. Most days he eats well and seems to be comfortable and happy to drive us crazy.

9-12-08 Friday
I missed a whole month! I remember worrying about three hurricanes; Gustav, Hanna and Ike. Only one brought us real rain and wind a few leaks and minor mess like fan blades blown off. If it were to come our way I wanted to stay and John wanted to go. Someday we'll have to resolve our differences on the subject. We got out to Utah to visit Sue and came home via Texas and lunch with Peggy and Steve. The zebra was an attraction at their small airport. We went to Asheville for a few days and when we went back a week later had to drive (for the first time) due to Hanna's creating bad flying conditions. Took six hours vs one and a half, at the most, flying. We are spoiled. John's taken a golf lesson and I've tried to play some more bridge, in addition to the Philip Alder lessons we took at the BFCC. Edith will be 90 next month and we're planning a surprise party to celebrate. Spike has a staph ear infection and Cinnamon is a lazy lump who I'm cooking for due to some sensitive stomach issues. I cook more for her than for John. Still seeing doctors who collectively think I am good-to-go now. I thought that months ago. John passed his FAA physical with flying colors; he's young, strong and healthy despite people calling him sir and offering to help him lift any large box at Home Depot. I tell him it is the gray hair, ok...almost white hair.

7-29-08 Tuesday
This has been the best month. Not the moving in part- ugh on that. But we had company; for instance, the Gunns, Henry and Fair Johnson, Stuart and family, John's cousin Ginny and family, Barbara Hartman, Robin Wilson (her sister Grace and family plus brother Marc were here too renting a cottage), even Warren Harris et al came for this 80th birthday celebration, plus earlier Lois Knee my premarital roommate from Atlanta. We've never lived anywhere people came to visit. Not that I blame them as Cleveland and Rochester were not exactly tourist hot spots. Company gave me a perfect distraction from organizing what came out of boxes. One guest asked for a magnifying glass. Forget finding one or the card table cover I looked forever for and never turned up. My back is loads better and Spike is still hanging in there. John is in Oshkosh for the next few days, talking that airplane talk, sweating and drooling over planes we do not need. His next acquisition, I'd agree with, is a boat or a helicopter. I like low and slow when flying locally. Taking photos from the air going fast and sideways is hard for me. All the has to do is fly. How hard can that be? I tell him, "hold that knife edge, right there" so I can get the picture perfectly. When I don't it must have been his fault.

7-7-08
Moving. Not working on the web site. But now follow this LINK and you'll see the new cottage where we actually sleep now. We tired to hide the mess and make it look like we have a clue where things are. We don't. We try to put stuff (when we finally find it) in one of the first three places we first looked as that is obviously where it ought to be, but isn't... yet. I spent 20 minutes looking for a fly swatter yesterday. It doesn't feel like home, but surely will soon. The landscaping all happened at once and made a huge difference. The Sea Island Company does it and they don't hold back with plants. Till the other cottage sells we are a little short on furniture as we've left it habitable (barely). That way it shows better and can be used as our guest house. All visitors welcome. I'll try to write a little more often now that I am healthy and more settled.

5-20-08 Tuesday
The Forest Cottage, where we live now, is on the market. If you want to see it click here. There are a dozen professionally taken photos if you go to photo gallery. The guy made the place look much better than it does in person actually. The River Cottage is getting so close. The floors were oiled today and the pool has water in it and there are trees and bushes and sod. One day it looked like Saudi Arabia and the next like a woodland had descended from above with palm trees being shot like arrows from the sky. My back is better; three weeks tomorrow. I see the doctor soon who should let me do more stuff. John is wicked. He parked his car so I couldn't get mine out of the garage as I became itchy to get out of here using wheels and not a driver. I walk very well thank you, but I have the posture of a zombie - very erect and odd. I suspect it will loosen up, like a facelift. I asked for a butt lift and/or lipo while in the hospital, but guess they ran out of time. What a bummer. I plan to complain.

5-3-08 Saturday
Until I signed on right now I had no idea I wrote the blog below! It is as if I lost a couple of days of my life. I have zero memory of who I talked to on Wednesday and part of Thursday. I am walking pretty well; the nurse told us I could walk to the mailbox as soon as I felt strong enough. I told John I planned to. He assured me she didn't really mean it, since our mailbox is at the post office which is three miles down the road. He is such a party pooper. By next week I hope to try, once I am more steady on my feet.

5-1-08 Thursday
I made it home. The leg, foot etc pain is gone. It's magic. The neurosurgeon told John she found more than expected; the part she'd expected was extruded and pressing the nerve (she cut it off) but also found some floating bone pieces that looked like "lump crabmeat". Nasty. She took it all out and now I have to be really good for four weeks. I did not tell her we'll be moving in that time frame. I slept till 4 this morning, must be those good drugs. Now it is 5:34 am and I wish I knew someone awake to talk to. The computer is hard, as I do it standing up. John is a good but bossy nurse. The pups loved lying in the bed last evening. I'd doze off for less than a minute and have a dream. Weird. They've taken photos of this cottage so we can put it on the market soon. I'd love for you to buy it. Once it is up on the SI website I'll post the link. Spike peed blood yesterday, but he seems like he feels fine anyway. He has an eye problem that requires 4Xday drops, an antibiotic and he is chewing himself raw on his haunces. Vet told John yesterday it could be related to bladder discomfort caused by the cancer so there isn't much to do about it. Mostly he leaves it alone at night. Cinnamon is so happy to be the queen bee again. While it always makes me sad to place a foster I think Lulu is in a good home and that makes me happy.

4/23/08 Wednesday
The little dog Lulu is still here; I am working on a new home for her, not ours though her owner has offered her to me. Have agreed to have back surgery as *five* doctors agreed it would fix me right up. (I kept looking for one who'd say leave it alone.) April 30th, a week from today; they say no driving for 2 weeks. Ha, they don't know how quickly I can heal, or I'll  lose my mind going stir crazy. John thinks we'll move in May-I won't be a lot of help if we do, but getting this over with is probably best. The cottage progress is impressive; I'll get some new photos up maybe next week. Appliances are in, kitchen looks good, closets mostly done. Pool still needs work and no landscaping yet. A friend of a friend who is in construction from Atlanta toured over the weekend and said "you're two months away from finished" but the Sea Island folks say they are pros at finishing up. We'll see. I hope to go to Athens tomorrow for Bea's 84th birthday, just pop in and out if John can fly me. The Zebra has a flaps problem, so we may not be able to. Glad I didn't tell her or make any firm plans; I want to visit some old friends there (Barbara H this means you or get you to come here!)

3/31/08 Monday

Spike had a new ultrasound and is holding his own. The bladder cancer tumor is growing but slowly. Cinnamon is fine. We've kept the dog of a couple where the wife died about four weeks ago and the 80 year old husband is trying to become a dog person. If you remember the movie ?As Good As It Gets" this pup is the same breed: a Brussels Griffon (sp?) only 4 pounds and two years old. Maybe due to all that has gone on, she (Lulu) is a nut case. Cinnamon only tired to kill her twice, and considering she slept in the bed with us, that wasn?t too bad. I've had my third round of butt shots (ok technically ?lumbar epidural injections"). I'll see another neurosurgeon to decide if surgery is really the right approach. Yesterday I said to John "I want to talk to my mother." He said "it leaves a hole like nothing else, doesn't it?" and I knew he knows the weird feeling of loss - not of her (in his case his father Frank) as she was at the end. But as they really were for the rest of our lives. Edith can now see better than I've ever known anyone at 89 to see. John's golf is rare, with huge variations in score and thus satisfaction. He's out of town taking the Zebra for its annual. We'll have a three car garage when the river cottage is done - he must believe the new date of early May or he wouldn't be bringing back the M-5 to keep here. Appliances are delivered and not in, and the pool deck may be poured tomorrow. Progress is slow but steady.

 

3/4/08 Tuesday
Edith has her second cataract surgery tomorrow. The first helped hugely. I have my second cortisone shots in the back treatment. The first helped some. John will soon have his nursing degree I'm sure. My scans show a herniated disk pressing on a nerve and a tear. It isn't exactly my back that is killing me; it is my foot/calf/ankle/butt/thigh...you get the idea. I can't seem to convince my leg it is really ok, it is just my mind that is tricking it. John and I have taken five bridge lessons!! I love him for it. Spring means fun and the Gunns visited last weekend; Bo and family come Friday. The cottage looks better but nothing like habitable. The floors are done, and look old like we wanted. Kitchen cabinets are being set and work on the pool has begun. The new photos are up on the web site. It is so much work to post them for someone like me who is just learning. It just took me the better part of an hour to do two.

2/19/08 Tuesday
Rats. I wrote a whole post a week ago and it isn't here. I shouldn't trust myself to maintain this thing. I've no idea what I wrote so I'll start now. Today is our 31st wedding anniversary. I "gave" John a paint job for the PC-7 and I'm getting a jewelry safe for the new house. He has taken Edith to get her cataract surgery done this morning. She only has one good eye, so it is scary to put it at risk, but a positive result will improve her quality of life immensely. My back is really out again for the first time in years. Have had new x-rays/MRI/CAT/nuclear bone scans. For sure I have more doctors than friends here. The new cottage - maybe May now. They ran out of floor boards so that set them back 1-2 weeks. We hope to settle on stain finish this week. The elevator is going in and some lights work. Also some granite and most sinks are installed. I wonder if it will ever be done. John is enthused though as he thinks the end is in sight. We've been lucky with the weather this "winter" (seems like spring to me.)

1/31/08 Thursday
Ok. I'll keep posting, but it isn't fair that you know about us and only email about you rarely. You know who you are! Edith fell yesterday and over our protest went to the hospital because the nurse there called 911. Nothing broken. John got her home and spent the night as she gets up intermittently. I went today and she is much improved. Could be Parkinson's and antibiotics (for an infection she has) don't mix well. The new cottage is a pit! But floors start tomorrow - yes a week late; doesn't everything take 50% longer than expected? Kitchen cabinets can't be set until the floors are down but then photos will be worth posting. We do have a driveway and some working doors with hardware! Spike's ultrasound shows minor change; cancer drug is working and will "until it doesn't". He didn't have his annual shots - the vet said "let's not bother this old man" which made me happy, and sad.

1/19/08 Saturday
I miss snow; even Atlanta has it today. We've got rain, but it is green. The River Cottage has doors! Wood floors go down next week as do the cobblestones for the driveway. The wood planks are in the house curing. They've "planted out" the generator, a miracle of landscaping. Plus lots of trees on the road side. Inside the cottage looks more a mess than ever, but John assures me that's what progress looks like. Maybe it will be done by April? Edith's sister-in-law is here from Atlanta for the weekend with her daughter which is wonderful. Dinner tonight for all at the hotel in the Georgian Room. Edith's house went on the market last week - we're keeping our fingers crossed for a buyer who won't tear it down. Or any buyer actually.

January 2, 2008 Wednesday
I started the blog exactly six months ago. Is once a month enough. I don't think anyone reads it anyway & not much happens now, thank goodness. That is much compared to July's insanity. Spike still doesn't know he's sick and seems to do fine on 3 legs. Cinnamon continues with panic attacks at night leaving all of us exhausted. The cottage progresses with tile and bath cabinets being installed. Still no doors. Grading was the biggest accomplishment in December.  Christmas and New Years we were here and it was quiet. Edith is doing about the same. My email has gone crazy; is it a MSN problem, a virus or what? I still need a GA driver's license and to adjust to this being home. I feel adrift still. Have started to dread getting the stuff out of storage in St. Louis. I don't miss it and we have too much already. We'll have to put this house on the market, but won't till we are sure of a finish date for the new one. They say it looks like late spring, but that could mean anything.

December 2007
12/3/07 Monday
How did I miss November completely? Oh well, it was a blur of moving John's mom, Edith, here and getting her semi-settled in her 1400 square foot apartment eight miles down the road. We are with her daily and are seeing her progress even better than we had hoped. Still it is *really* hard. My brother Sam and family came for Thanksgiving, our first holiday in almost 31 years of marriage with kinfolks (retailers don't travel during "the season" and don't really welcome company then either.) It was enjoyable especially since I didn't cook. There's a reason why we live in a resort area! The Cloister's buffet and activities (tennis, pool, beach club, bingo, golf, shooting etc etc) kept everyone entertained. The pups loved the kids and I realized they aren't kids anymore. John and the cottage builders are tight. Still many things to decide, flesh out and fine tune. I try to go only once or twice a week so I see big changes, but nothing photographs well now. Maybe once we get a driveway or cabinets it will.

October 2007
10/30 Tuesday UGA beat Florida in football this past weekend. It is as if they won the World Series (FL beat UGA 15 of the past ~17 times they played). I've now got two local doctors, a dentist and a GA tag on the car. I've decided to send out change of address notes instead of Christmas cards, so I can take months to do it. Spike is on a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory cancer drug. He doesn't know anything has changed. A week from today we pack up Edith and plan to move her in on Thursday. We hope to have the apartment ready this weekend.

10/23 Tuesday If someone says "cheer up things could be worse, don't or they will get worse. Spike has bladder cancer; TCC, a malignant tumor. I cry about this, but not about my parents. How does that work? We were just in Atlanta and Edith will move here in November. John is now in Orlando going through 3 days of flight simulator training. He says it is "fun and challenging"; they make all sorts of things go wrong like the engine catches on fire or just quits entirely or the electrical system fails and everything goes dark. Not my idea of fun but that is why there is chocolate and vanilla. Better there than with me next to him at 20,000 feet. His birthday is Thursday - 61 and he makes it look great.

10/1 Monday I know it is time for new cottage photos; but I can't. It is covered is scaffolding as they are putting on stucco. What a huge, messy process. When it comes down I'll update. Big news, Edith says she'll relocate and soon, we hope. I'll be a great mover before it's over, packing and emptying out four full-to-the-brim houses in less than a year. John joined the golf club less than 1/2 mile down the street, "Ocean Forest" (its on the ocean and has a forest; pretty unusual.) Once he starts playing regularly I'll have to learn as I've run out of excuses. We're hoping to make it to St. Louis on Wednesday. I MUST GET A HAIR CUT. Haven't had one since we left 3 months ago. I miss Jason desperately. Cinnamon and Spike miss Hania most of all and not because of hair cuts. John has transitioned best, to a salon yet, as opposed to his old love, Pete the barber. Our tides this week are huge due to the northeastern wind, full moon and other stuff I can't explain. It is like nothing I've ever seen before. Short of a hurricane some places it's record water levels.

September 2007
9/25 Tuesday John is back in Atlanta with Edith, making some progress on planning her move here. The pups and I are enjoying the quiet but we miss our Missouri friends and projects. The NYC trip was fun, loved seeing Curtains on B'way and walking our feet off in fallish weather. The plane trip was uneventful and actually left and landed early! Jacksonville airport is cozy. Flying into LaGuardia instead of Teterboro in New Jersey was a whole lot prettier. I'd forgotten. John finally ate lunch with me at Serendipity, my favorite. We've tried and failed before due to crowds. This retirement stuff is especially good when we get to do things during the week! Since John has a lifetime Bloomingdale's and Macy's employee discount I spent time and money at both. Just wish either had a store closer to Sea Island. We just got a new Target though.

9/13 Thursday Edith spent almost a week in Piedmont hospital after her fall and John was with her the whole time. She is now home with 24/7 care and revised meds. She is not happy about the help and would fire them all if she could. Told him he "has no right" to do this to her; she wants things back the way they were (with only one caregiver three days a week.) She has very little memory of her time on the floor, which could have been 18+ hours. Scary. Meanwhile Spike has had emergency dental surgery and I wonder if this insanity is the new normal for our lives. We are off to NYC today for the weekend. I haven't flown commercial in two years, being spoiled by having a pilot husband. Dogs will have a sitter which is scary as the little guy is not nearly 100% yet. I must learn to let go some. I'm trying.

9/2 Sunday Poor John. He couldn't reach his Mother all day yesterday and she refuses help on weekends. By last night he was really concerned. She'd fallen and could not get up. Just before breaking down the door a neighbor's house sitter found the only spare key. She was disoriented, having taken no meds (bad for someone with Parkinsons) so John drove the 5+ hours to Atlanta. He couldn't fly as we have terrible storms. We'd brought my 87 year old Uncle Jack and Judy here for the weekend, so I didn't go. I'll drive them back to NC and then go next week. Maybe the sliver cloud is this will make her move sooner.

August 2007
8/26 Sunday On Tuesday we go back to NC to unpack there, finally, and do estate paperwork. I hope to sell Mom's six year old Caddy that has 11,000 miles on it. She hadn't driven in three years so that seemed right. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. Its a start. We gave in and rented a storage area for the furniture from Mom's house. We put two things here and they are strong reminders. When does the grief stop? Last night we sat on our dock with wine, cheese & crackers and the dogs and watched the sun set. Cinnamon loved looking at the water; Spike snoozed. John said it might keep feeling like I'm just visiting until that cottage is done and we move in with all our stuff.

8/20 Monday The new cottage is growing. I hope to get current photos up on the site by month end. They even "shot" the pool this week. The heat wave is gone, and so are the tourists. It is a great time on SI. I'm still writing notes and making calls to friends about Mom and Dad. Have heard some fun stories. Everyone asks about Max who is doing great with Sheila. We hope to get John's mom Edith to move to here to Marsh's Edge. Even I wanted to get on the list after a tour. John "We're building a new cottage just to move to a retirement community in five+ years? I don't think so." More meetings with people like the A/V and security contractors. It's never ending. John to spend four days this week in Atlanta with Edith.

8/12 Sunday Visitors are a welcome distraction; the Dukes, Stuart and family, the Ledfords and Montupets from St. Louis all here over the past six days. This week back to real life trying to organize this house and the papers everywhere. And do thank you notes. It's hot, but less so than in St. Louis. Dreamed about Mom for the first time last night. She was giving me stuff to take care of for her. Not sad, but not happy. I need a psychologist, but how do you find one here? I'd settle for a dentist or doctor at this point. I'll put it on the list.

8/6 Monday It has almost been a week; seems like a month since I thought of the blog. With pitiful Spike (& Cinnamon) we went to Asheville to divide up my parents' belongings (life) between the four siblings. I have two brothers and a sister all younger. We each picked in turn as my parents wanted. I will not do my estate that way when I die. But it is done. Going through photos, books, wedding albums, clothes, handbags and such. Wrenching. Painful. Sad. Having just done it with our own things to move from St. Louis made it harder, not easier. As executrix every file had to be looked at for retention. We'll have to keep boxes and boxes for 7 years! Lucky we have a basement our NC condo. Just came back to SI last night. I am empty.
  

July 2007
7/31 Tuesday The vet took out the stitches, but Spike still has to wear the "hat" and be very restricted for four more weeks. *I* may not make it. Many storms here, finally lots of rain. Pressure is on to catch up for the many weeks we've done nothing on the new cottage selections. Countertops, tile for baths, endless questions. I think new houses should come with the bath and kitchen done; luckily John and Mary are kindred spirits. She was here for three hours yesterday with her bag of samples. Today John goes to see the architect. Without me.

7/29 Sunday John did come back, in between thunderstorms. The boxes, all but one, are unpacked. Have heard it takes six months to adjust - that's when we hope we'll be moving again into our real home. We visited it today; the big news is *roofing tiles*. Just a few, but it's big progress. I'll get new photos up (of cottage and wounded dog) pretty soon. Maybe Spike gets stitches out tomorrow, but he has chewed whenever he can so it isn't looking great. He is still a three legged hopper, but has learned to wait for me on steps - most of the time. He has weeks of recovery to go with restrictions or it won't heal right. This may be harder on us than him. There won't be room in the bed for John tonight for sure.

7/26 Thursday John left yesterday morning for Oshkosh where he can eat, sleep and breathe airplanes until Sunday. I can unpack boxes, read Harry Potter (yes, I read the ending first) and maybe write some notes. Spike is wearing an "E" (looks like a lampshade) collar as he *won't* stop chewing his leg. He keeps forgetting how wide his head is and running into things. I haven't told anyone here we've arrived as I'm just not up to being brave or charming yet. Might never be at this rate.

7/25 Wednesday I am supposed to be ok by now. So why do things like Mom's driver's license, which I couldn't bear to toss, and seeing Dad's name on caller id hit so hard? I know neither one wanted to live without the other to spar with and amuse and entertain. Doesn't help knowing, as far as I can tell.

7/22 Sunday Spike looks like he lost a knife fight. John had been calling him "Peg" and "Tripod" but now he really is one. He hates being confined, can't get comfortable and is trying so hard to walk again with his three working legs. Cinnamon is not a bit sympathetic. He slept in bed with us which looked like a bunker so he couldn't fall or jump out in the night. I am trying to keep him from chewing or licking the wound. No small feat. Still lots of unpacking to do. I brought a down coat here?!? Where we don't have or need coat closets.

7/20 Friday So I totally sob when leaving him at the vet, saying I'm afraid he'll die. The tech surely thought I was round the bend over this dog. Could it have been everything else too?

7/19 Thursday John flew us to Sea Island today. Spike's ACL surgery is tomorrow so we couldn't stay in NC longer. There is still much to do there, shredding high on the list; Sheila is now in charge. Found 30+ used lipsticks, 13 knives (mostly Swiss Army), 7 nail clippers, 6 electric razors, countless pens and scissors. I must come by my hording of those last two items genetically. What if they'd lived there longer than 7 years? Our cottage here is full of boxes waiting to be unpacked, pictures on the floor, wardrobes with clothes. Where did all this stuff come from? St. Louis, and we'll move it again in about six months to the new cottage.

7/17 Tuesday Notary. Banks. Paperwork. Death certificates. Questions. Talking about it again and again. Closing accounts and opening new ones. Cleaning out the safety deposit box. So many rules and details.  Thank goodness for Mrs. Goodson. At least we had a rain storm. Spike isn't right. The vet here says still an infection and prescribes new medicine. Haven't written a thank you note yet. Mom is turning in her grave over that for sure. This weekend I'll do them, in Georgia where it is too hot to do anything else. I feel homeless. So much to still unpack.

7/16 Monday I am cursed. Got a flat tire today on top of everything. Took AAA 1hr 20 minutes to come and then the Acura dealer had to put on a new tire despite the fact it was just a nail. Have found endless nail clippers, emory boards, knives, chocolate bars and index cards in the drawers. Painful is almost used up lipsticks and Dad's leg brace. Funny what hits your heart.

7/15 Sunday John and Cinnamon just left for Atlanta. He has to do some stuff for his mom and has been putting off going to be with us. Spike is here as guard dog. Paid Riverside a visit yesterday and Dad's flowers were still beautiful! Mom's were not. Can't believe they are there and not watching tv, waiting for me to visit. Looking in the fridge was unexpectedly hard; it is so personal and so them. Tomorrow the appraiser comes to value the house contents, and I'll meet with the estate lawyer. Lucky we have Uncle Jack to advise us but he gave up his license so I have to have someone else too.

7/14 Saturday I have to write the day of the week, as my perception of time has completely changed. Time has become so long. Yesterday seems a week ago. Bo agrees. So much change has happened it seems impossible the funeral was just day before yesterday. It surely was a month ago. Sam & Stu went home to Atlanta yesterday. Soon I'll start thank you notes and emails. There have been many from old friends. They have meant a lot.

7/13 Friday Nice service, short and the priest made humorous comments about Mom being always nice and Dad being irascible. Since Dad was a WWII vet the government provides a flag for the coffin. John found that out when Frank died. Dad really liked the idea (instead of having flowers). 45+ came here afterwards, most boxes are hidden away and I can't find a thing. This morning I don't know where to start. Maybe I'll clean as I find that cathartic.

7/12 Thursday Beautiful morning. John says it is the pick day of this week for weather. The family that scattered last weekend will all be back today. Mom & Dad used to joke about a double funeral and they came close to having one. Two o'clock can't come soon enough. I left the dogs at Mom's cottage since it was quiet there (and a madhouse here) during the service and reception afterwards . My pups kept looking for Max who has a new home with Sheila. I looked for my parents. Strange to have it empty, as it *never* was. And to use a key when it was never locked before.

7/11 Wednesday With lots of help (from Janet, Stu, Sherry etc) John and I got our NC condo in shape for company after the service tomorrow. We unpacked what we had to, hung pictures and filled bookcases. The unfinished part of the basement is full of boxes. It has been a good distraction. As I'm a "regular customer" the funeral home rep came out here to sign papers.

7/10 Tuesday Dad died today very peacefully. We knew he wouldn't live six months after Mom died, but no one thought it wouldn't be six days. The funeral will be Thursday at 2 pm.

7/9 Monday Movers arrived first thing and unloaded all day. Who bought all this stuff and why did I move it here?!? Boxes everywhere and no storage as this is a cottage for goodness sakes.

7/8 Sunday Stuart is with Dad. He began home hospice care on Friday. No changes to how things are, just more resources. John and I left for SI to meet the movers who arrive tomorrow with the rest of our stuff. The new cottage will not be done until early 2008 so we will be "putting a quart of water in a pint jar" (my husband John's description) until then.

7/7 Saturday Mom's funeral. Dad is failing and could not attend, he possibly had a small stroke last night.  Mom turned 80 on June 23rd and their wedding anniversary was June 24th. After 57 years of marriage (most with him in poor health) who would think she would die first? Dad agreed yesterday he could not believe it. Her birthday was a wonderful event with 50 extended family members attending and with Mom and Dad really enjoying themselves.

7/6 Friday The third of our possessions which were being moved to our Asheville condo were delivered. Another third is now in storage in St. Louis and the rest will be delivered to our current Sea Island cottage this weekend.

7/5 Thursday Mother died early this morning. Max was in bed too of course as was Dad, who was sleeping right next to her. With each breath I hoped she would not take another.

7/4 Mother is no longer self aware. The Deerfield nurse, Misty, came to the house several times and was so caring and wonderful. She knew her well and at one point thought said she thought Mom might even choose to go out on the 4th of July. She almost did.

7/3 Tuesday To Asheville ASAP as they took Mom off all meds and put her on hourly morphine. After I arrived she knew me enough to say I love you and when I asked what I could do to make her more comfortable she said "Shoot me". Feisty to the last.
 
7/2 Monday The mover finished loading everything and the St. Louis house is empty - mostly. What is left will go with us or Hania or be tossed. Slept on an inflatable bed; easier on the dogs than a strange place, especially with Spike's torn ACL. Cinnamon thought it was great.

7/1 Sunday Our last weekend in the St. Louis home. A bittersweet time with so much to do. John's 93 year old Dad died two weeks ago (on June 16th) and his 88 year old mother lives in Atlanta; she's happy we'll be closer. Told Mom I'd see her day after tomorrow and she said "I'll be here."