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5-13-13 OMG how long has it been!? No
more blog for me. Between texting (912
275-0222), my Christmas letters, a small use of
Facebook and Instagram who needs this little
buggar. It is a new era, so if you want me find
me at one of those places.
9-01-11 Thursday Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit,
if you say it the first of the month you'll have
good luck according to my great grandmother. I
remembered today! Who needs a blog when there is
FB etc in today's world? Here is a quick update
and I don't know if I'll ever revisit this: Had
a fabulous birthday party at OF in March. No
reoccurance so far of John's blocked intestine
and his February time in the hospital. In the
olden days he'd have died and I'd have been
really mad. The dog of my heart finally departed
this earth April sixth. He persisted so much
longer than we could ever have hoped, but the
complications of his many ailments finally
compromised his quality of life to the point we
had to put him to sleep. In his final hour he
chased a cat outside the vet and was very proud
of himself. The next month John's mom died from
Parkinson's and failure to thrive. The Sunday
before she died we sat on her porch and enjoyed
the hummingbirds at her feeder. Now will have to
learn to live with freedom from so many
responsibilities. John spent the last year being
"on call" never more than a short time away from
Edith as she'd become distressed and the
caregivers couldn't calm her. I still play
duplicate bridge, slowly improving but enjoying
it and the people I meet through it. Margaret is
a great teacher which helps, plus I have a
marvelous partner in Little Joyce. I still take
a computer lesson a week, cheaper than a shrink.
But am considering taking the web site down. It
went up five years ago before all the social
media existed and is now dated. All my siblings
kid's have grown up in the interim! Of course
John and I haven't aged a bit.
2-17-11 Thursday I can tell I wasn't made to
blog. Once I stopped I never went back. A year
flew by. Brief update: John's mom has gone over
the edge with Parkinson's dementia; we still
have the two pups who run our lives; I've
learned to love the Iphone; John loves his Ipad.
I've not turned over a new leaft at the spa;
John's small intestine obstruction is gone for
now; we almost never get to spend time in
Asheville, a huge regret. Sea Island is now
home. Enough said!
1-20-10 Wednesday Ok I didn't die but the
computer did. Then I had to BUY new software to
be able to get into ths site for updates. And
once I was behind I got really behind. We spend
New Year's in LA at the Rose Bowl with Mitch and
Barb; the most beautiful weather ever for us at
that event, even better than when we lived
there. Came home to cold (meaning 30ish degrees)
and all over the south similar brrrr. Frannie
has been here for a couple of weeks in Tay Lane,
we've had a blast and played a lot of bridge.
John is not going to Haiti with the PC-12. I am
using the new phone, love it as a computer not
so much as a phone. Decided I had to switch
since we went to Los Angeles commercial and I
couldn't shlep my laptop and enough shoes to
make it for six days. Just came back from
Asheville and Randall Ledford's 60th birthday
celebration, plus a fun dinner with Frannie and
Uncle Jack at the Inn on Biltmore Estate. Still
had snow on the ground there and lots of damage
from the bad weather. I've been to the spa four
times in two weeks. Maybe I'm turning over a new
leaf? I hope so.
11-18-09 Wednesday
I have a new computer and this one is dying a
painful death. For now I won't be able to get in
here. It's a great excuse to avoid writing. All
to note, of late, is dogs are hanging in there.
Vet thinks Spike's time is running out. Other
symptoms are appearing, likely related to the
cancer. We get up in the middle of the night at
least once and maybe twice for instance. Still
he's the happiest dog in the world. I am
unpacking Christmas decorations from 2 1/2 years
ago which is when the St. Louis house sold and
our things went into storage. I just couldn't
face it last year when we didn't even put up a
tree. The other SI cottage hasn't sold so we
loan it out whenever possible. Keeps guests out
from under our feet. Thanksgiving is a week away
- time is speeding up as I get older. Will be
going to LA for the Rose Bowl and New Year's.
Our last time with Mitch as the CEO. Fred just
left and hit a homerun with Edith and her
friends lecturing on hummers. Hot Toes and John
went to SIMCOM in Florida for amusement
recently. There is no better weather than here
right now. 75 degrees during the day. This is
winter? Hurricane season was a no-show. I am
going to start using the IPhone soon but dread
the transition of phone number (from 314 St.
Louis area code to being a local 912 275-0222
Georgia girl) and habit patterns. By February
2010 I will switch. I will. I will...
10-08-09 Thursday
Facebook seems to have replaced the website for
me. Started on FB to see nephew Stephen's photos
about 18 months ago. Then with the AHS's 40th
reunion my "friends' network exploded. I enjoy
checking it a couple of times a week. Ok that's
it for excuses. Since June...August 30th reunion
in Athens. No John (in Oshkosh) but fun. Drove
there for the first time (spoiled in the past as
John flew us) in a terrible rain storm. Two fun
nights reconnecting. Hopefully friendships
re-established can be maintained. Thank goodness
I didn't peak in high school. John's own hangar
has become a reality. He has a 40 year lease and
it was built from scratch. Holds both planes,
with a lovely office, bath, storage room and
workshop. His life goal achieved. How can we
ever consider moving away now? Edith turned 91,
refused any celebration so the three of us dined
at Colt and Allison. Uncle Jack turned 89 on
10-19; the party was the Gunns and us and a
birthday cake with fallen icing at the Red Stag
in Biltmore Village. Robin & Mike visited; she
shattered her shoulder opening a dog gate. Had
Joyce's 50th b-day Sept 25th here. 60+ ladies
with John & Huitt tending bar. Carolyn Carter
and Joyce, along with Margaret teaching bridge
and Spike not dying yet are the best things
about SI. John off to Webb AF reunion tomorrow.
Had a tooth implant procedure Tuesday. My life
has been spent with dentists. Hania passed CNA
certification and is working. Life is good.
6-22-09 (& 6-28)
Just did some site maintenance and thought I'd
stop in here too. Set records for heat this
month; very early for temperatures so warm. We
hear it is everywhere. Hania passed both her CNA
tests!! We are thrilled for her. June 16th was
the anniversary of Frank's death, two years ago.
Uncle Jack, the Gunns and Caney +2 were here for
a week in early June. John flew up and got Jack
and we returned him in time to see Elizabeth be
presented at Rhododendron. Uncle Jack stayed
with us and the rest at "Blair House" (AKA the
Tay Lane cottage). Who knew people would visit
here in the summer? Most locals are gone. Stu et
al will visit July 4th and Sam and company a
couple of weeks later. Joe is officially off the
church roles so he'll finally have a real break.
Edith doesn't do well when we leave, so trips
are short. Had Caroline Carter and Gayle Brown
and Meg Crews to bridge. Barbara brought great dog toys to the pups; poor
Cinny stays behind (Crowfield has a
one dog rule) and the spoiled, sick Spike travels with us. He LOVES to fly and she hates
it, so it isn't as unfair as it sounds. John
took Sheila & Ronnie Miller flying, neither had
ever been in a plane before and they are both
over 35 years old. Went to Davis Love's house
for a "cookout" to benefit the Land Trust. (And
I thought we had a lot of things to take care
of!) The US Open trophy was in the Ocean Forest
golf shop so we went to see it while there for
lunch.
5-31-09 Sunday
No one (or pup) died last month, thank goodness.
My niece Sarah, Bo's #2 daughter, will join
Sam's oldest Catherine at UGA next year. Dad
would have been thrilled. Edith continues
unhappy and now slightly less mentally crisp, to
be expected at 90 1/2+ I suppose. We snuck away
from her for 5 days and went to Asheville - a
first since we moved here. At Riverside I
bleached headstones, weeded, cleaned plots and
planted grass. Mother would have liked that.
Cinny is still crazy despite the meds; Spike
couldn't be better, considering. John's golf
isn't much improved, nor is my bridge. Stuart's
husband Joe was laid off last week. I believe
he'll land on his feet. Am reading "Still Alice"
trying to face my horror of also getting
Alzheimer?s. Every time I forget something I
feel terror. My AHS memories are so scanty our
upcoming reunion is a bit nerve racking. Going
without John will be challenging but he has a
critical Oshkosh commitment. Wish I could take
Spike instead. We ate outside and admired
the view of the water tonight however hurricane
season starts tomorrow. The hummingbirds flew
around us like crazy. It is a really pretty
place here; I wanted to retire to Scottsdale,
AZ. Not much water there! SI was John's pick. I
agreed to give it 5-10 years and if it didn't
'feel right' by then we'd relocate. We moved
into this cottage almost exactly a year ago. I
am one of about three Democrats on our island.
We should develop a secret society.
4-09-09 Thursday
I made a grand slam in bridge and wasn't happy
because I didn't bid it. That's progress??!? I
liked it better being ignorant and happy. Have
had visits from Bo and Stu (and families); Sam
won't come till summer. Cinnamon started Prozac
today due to the panic attacks. We've tried
everything else. Plus a doggie shrink may come
from the Univ. of FL to help us. You have to
have a referral from the vet to be considered.
Spike is on three kinds of meds and is still
happy as a bug every day. Ginger died a few days
ago at 10+ years old, a long life for a bunny.
Joyce Mattox and I had a wonderful 90th birthday
lunch for Caroline Carter on 3-31, who is an
inspiration with her wit and vitality. Loula
Brown died (3-27) and the world is a lesser
place without her in it. Saw Allen Coggins at
her funeral. Quite a nice surprise.
3-23-09 Monday
I didn't think anyone would notice I'd stopped
blogging, but Fair did so I said I'd write.
Where to start? I joined Facebook to see
Stephen's photos last year; all of a sudden lots
of my high school classmates are there too. We
may have our first reunion (40th) in about 20
years this summer. John will be in Oshkosh but
he'd hate it anyway. I just turned 58; fine
except for getting the 65+ year old discount for
tickets the other day and I certainly didn't ask
for it! John's golf is getting worse
due to the lessons changing his swing, stance,
grip and some other stuff. Poor guy. My bridge
continues - a challenge and a pleasure. I figure
we'll have the other house here for a while.
Taking care of it is time consuming plus little
fix it projects there crop up. But how nice to
have a guest house with a pool and 3 furnished
bedrooms even if it is down the street. Spike is
still with us, a medical miracle. Cinny is more
neurotic by the day. John's been sick with a
horrible cough. He even went to the doctor for
about the fourth time in our marriage. I seem to
keep finding there isn't enough time in the day
to do the stuff I need to do but don't want to
do.
12-27-08 Saturday
Edith's house sold; what a relief. If you got
our Christmas letter you know we took a sea
turtle to Mystic, CT's aquarium from here at
Thanksgiving. Plus went to VP in St. Louis for
Jorie Jacobi; only for her would he put on a
white tie and tails. Spike did not enjoy the
middle of the night 7 degree jaunt outside with
me in tow wearing pj's and Uggs. Returning to SI
we found it 74 degrees and sunny. It is
unusually warm, I might add, but John golfed in
shorts today claiming it a moral victory. He had
two birdies, so the new golf swing is starting
to have an impact. I played big money bridge
yesterday and lost 35 cents to Joyce's mother.
John and I take lessons the first week in
January and I hope to become unbeatable. Or at
least competent. The counting to 12 is killing
me. Spike got a red wagon from Santa, as he
can't walk very far anymore. I put his photo on
Facebook if you want to see how he looks riding.
Mother made me promise to think of her whenever
I saw a pelican; John gave me a Steuben one for
Christmas. He has his moments.
On the other hand, he did try to murder quail at
Frannie's Magnolia Plantation, with limited
success. I rooted for the birds of course.
11-14-08 Friday
John is in Atlanta, cleaning out Edith's house
which we hope will close to new owners next
month. We are thrilled to have it under contract
to folks who plan to live in it. Edith moved
here just about a year ago today, and her
adjustments have been numerous. Other happenings
include my losing (I actually do know where it
is and there is no tooth fairy) a molar, gaining
three pounds, being labeled a spammer by Yahoo,
celebrating Stuart and Sam's 50th birthday at
Bones in Atlanta (which I highly recommend),
not having a completed punch
list, still not finding the salad spinner and
experiencing other equally frustrating side
effects of moving including missing my friends!
10-10-08 Friday
Edith turned 90 on Saturday; Sunday we had a
surprise brunch for 76 to celebrate. She had no
idea and almost didn't attend. John and Anna
(her niece) talked her into leaving her
apartment despite the fact she felt weak and
"shaking to pieces." We'd invited everyone in
the "home" and had a huge acceptance rate. A
great success; her UTI returned the next day so
we've spent more doctor time since. John (&
Henry) went to 3 day flight recurrentcy training
in south Florida, now he's set for another year
of schlepping me around the sky. He declined to
pay the last $$ on our house until the punch
list is done, so we have been swarmed by workmen
daily. Each making a terrible mess fixing
whatever is his specialty. Spike has an
ultrasound Monday to determine tumor growth. He
is not doing so well lately. The vet didn't
expect him to live half as long as he already
has, but I'm still not ready to let him go. Most
days he eats well and seems to be comfortable
and happy to drive us crazy.
9-12-08 Friday
I missed a whole month! I remember worrying
about three hurricanes; Gustav, Hanna and Ike.
Only one brought us real rain and wind a few
leaks and minor mess like fan blades blown off.
If it were to come our way I wanted to stay and
John wanted to go. Someday we'll have to resolve
our differences on the subject. We got out to
Utah to visit Sue and came home via Texas and
lunch with Peggy and Steve. The zebra was an
attraction at their small airport. We went to
Asheville for a few days and when we went back a
week later had to drive (for the first time) due
to Hanna's creating bad flying conditions. Took
six hours vs one and a half, at the most,
flying. We are spoiled. John's taken a golf
lesson and I've tried to play some more bridge,
in addition to the Philip Alder lessons we took
at the BFCC. Edith will be 90 next month and
we're planning a surprise party to celebrate.
Spike has a staph ear infection and Cinnamon is
a lazy lump who I'm cooking for due to some
sensitive stomach issues. I cook more for her
than for John. Still seeing doctors who
collectively think I am good-to-go now. I
thought that months ago. John passed his FAA
physical with flying colors; he's young, strong
and healthy despite people calling him sir and
offering to help him lift any large box at Home
Depot. I tell him it is the gray hair,
ok...almost white hair.
7-29-08 Tuesday
This has been the best month. Not the moving in
part- ugh on that. But we had company; for
instance, the Gunns, Henry and Fair Johnson,
Stuart and family, John's cousin Ginny and
family, Barbara Hartman, Robin Wilson (her
sister Grace and family plus brother Marc were
here too renting a cottage), even Warren Harris
et al came for this 80th birthday
celebration, plus earlier Lois Knee my
premarital roommate from Atlanta. We've never
lived anywhere people came to visit. Not that I
blame them as Cleveland and Rochester were not
exactly tourist hot spots. Company gave me a
perfect distraction from organizing what came out of boxes.
One guest
asked for a magnifying glass. Forget finding one
or the card table cover I looked forever for and
never turned up. My back is loads better and
Spike is still hanging in there. John is in
Oshkosh for the next few days, talking that
airplane talk, sweating and drooling over planes
we do not need. His next
acquisition, I'd agree with, is a boat or a
helicopter. I like low and slow when flying
locally. Taking photos from the air going fast
and sideways is hard for me. All the has to do
is fly. How hard can that be? I tell him, "hold
that knife edge, right there" so I can get the
picture perfectly. When I don't it must have
been his fault.
7-7-08
Moving. Not working on the web site. But now
follow this
LINK
and you'll see the new cottage where we actually
sleep now. We tired to hide the mess and make it
look like we have a clue where things are. We
don't. We try to put stuff (when we finally find
it) in one of the first three places we first
looked as that is obviously where it ought to
be, but isn't... yet. I spent 20 minutes looking
for a fly swatter yesterday. It doesn't feel
like home, but surely will soon. The landscaping
all happened at once and made a huge difference.
The Sea Island Company does it and they don't
hold back with plants. Till the other cottage
sells we are a little short on furniture as
we've left it habitable (barely). That way it
shows better and can be used as our guest house.
All visitors welcome. I'll try to write a little
more often now that I am healthy and more
settled.
5-20-08 Tuesday
The Forest Cottage, where we live now, is on the
market. If you want to see it click
here. There are a
dozen professionally taken photos if you go to
photo gallery. The guy made the place look much
better than it does in person actually. The
River Cottage is getting so close. The floors
were oiled today and the pool has water in it
and there are trees and bushes and sod. One day
it looked like Saudi Arabia and the next like a
woodland had descended from above with palm
trees being shot like arrows from the sky. My back is better;
three weeks tomorrow. I see the doctor soon who
should let me do more stuff. John is wicked. He
parked his car so I couldn't get mine out of the
garage as I became itchy to get out of here
using wheels and not a driver. I walk very well
thank you, but I have the posture of a zombie -
very erect and odd. I suspect it will loosen up,
like a facelift. I asked for a butt lift and/or lipo while in the hospital, but guess they ran
out of time. What a bummer. I plan to complain.
5-3-08 Saturday
Until I signed on right now I had no idea I
wrote the blog below! It is as if I lost a
couple of days of my life. I have zero memory of
who I talked to on Wednesday and part of
Thursday. I am walking pretty well; the nurse
told us I could walk to the mailbox as soon as I
felt strong enough. I told John I planned to. He
assured me she didn't really mean it, since our
mailbox is at the post office which is three
miles down the road. He is such a party pooper.
By next week I hope to try, once I am more
steady on my feet.
5-1-08 Thursday
I made it home. The leg, foot etc pain is gone.
It's magic. The neurosurgeon told John she found
more than expected; the part she'd expected was
extruded and pressing the nerve (she cut it off)
but also found some floating bone pieces that
looked like "lump crabmeat". Nasty. She took it
all out and now I have to be really good for
four weeks. I did not tell her we'll be moving
in that time frame. I slept till 4 this morning,
must be those good drugs. Now it is 5:34 am and
I wish I knew someone awake to talk to. The
computer is hard, as I do it standing up. John
is a good but bossy nurse. The pups loved lying
in the bed last evening. I'd doze off for less
than a minute and have a dream. Weird. They've
taken photos of this cottage so we can put it on
the market soon. I'd love for you to buy it.
Once it is up on the SI website I'll post the
link. Spike peed blood yesterday, but he seems
like he feels fine anyway. He has an eye problem
that requires 4Xday drops, an antibiotic and
he is chewing himself raw on his haunces. Vet
told John yesterday it could be related to
bladder discomfort caused by the cancer so there
isn't much to do about it. Mostly he leaves it
alone at night. Cinnamon is so happy to be the
queen bee again. While it always makes me sad to
place a foster I think Lulu is in a good home
and that makes me happy.
4/23/08 Wednesday
The little dog Lulu is still here; I am working
on a new home for her, not ours
though her owner has offered her to me. Have
agreed to have back surgery as *five* doctors
agreed it would fix me right up. (I kept looking
for one who'd say leave it alone.) April 30th, a
week from today; they say no driving for 2
weeks. Ha, they don't know how quickly I can
heal, or I'll lose my mind going stir
crazy. John thinks we'll move in May-I won't be
a lot of help if we do, but getting this over
with is probably best. The cottage progress is
impressive; I'll get some new photos up maybe
next week. Appliances are in, kitchen looks
good, closets mostly done. Pool still needs work
and no landscaping yet. A friend of a friend who
is in construction from Atlanta toured over the
weekend and said "you're two months away from
finished" but the Sea Island folks say they are
pros at finishing up. We'll see. I hope to go to
Athens tomorrow for Bea's 84th birthday, just
pop in and out if John can fly me. The Zebra has
a flaps problem, so we may not be able to. Glad
I didn't tell her or make any firm plans; I want
to visit some old friends there (Barbara H this
means you or get you to come here!)
3/31/08 Monday
Spike had a new
ultrasound and is holding his own. The bladder
cancer tumor is growing but slowly. Cinnamon is
fine. We've kept the dog of a couple where the
wife died about four weeks ago and the 80 year
old husband is trying to become a dog person. If
you remember the movie ?As Good As It Gets" this
pup is the same breed: a Brussels Griffon (sp?)
only 4 pounds and two years old. Maybe due to
all that has gone on, she (Lulu) is a nut case.
Cinnamon only tired to kill her twice, and
considering she slept in the bed with us, that
wasn?t too bad.
I've had my third round of butt shots (ok
technically ?lumbar epidural injections"). I'll
see another neurosurgeon to
decide if surgery is really the right approach.
Yesterday I said to John "I want to talk to my
mother." He said "it leaves a hole like nothing
else, doesn't it?" and I knew he knows the weird
feeling of loss - not of her (in his case his
father Frank) as she was at the end. But as they
really were for the rest of our lives. Edith can
now see better than I've ever known anyone at 89
to see. John's golf is rare, with huge
variations in score and thus satisfaction. He's
out of town taking the Zebra for its annual.
We'll have a three car garage when the river
cottage is done - he must believe the new date
of early May or he wouldn't be bringing back the
M-5 to keep here. Appliances are delivered and
not in, and the pool deck may be poured
tomorrow. Progress is slow but steady.
3/4/08 Tuesday
Edith has her second cataract surgery tomorrow.
The first helped hugely. I have my second
cortisone shots in the back treatment. The first
helped some. John will soon have his nursing
degree I'm sure. My scans show a herniated disk
pressing on a nerve and a tear. It isn't exactly
my back that is killing me; it is my
foot/calf/ankle/butt/thigh...you get the idea. I
can't seem to convince my leg it is really ok,
it is just my mind that is tricking it. John and
I have taken five bridge lessons!! I love him
for it. Spring means fun and the Gunns visited
last weekend; Bo and family come Friday. The
cottage looks better but nothing like habitable.
The floors are done, and look old like we
wanted. Kitchen cabinets are being set and work
on the pool has begun. The new photos are up on
the web site. It is so much work to post them
for someone like me who is just learning. It
just took me the better part of an hour to do
two.
2/19/08 Tuesday
Rats. I wrote a whole post a week ago and it
isn't here. I shouldn't trust myself to maintain
this thing. I've no idea what I wrote so I'll
start now. Today is our 31st wedding
anniversary. I "gave" John a paint job for the
PC-7 and I'm getting a jewelry safe for the new
house. He has taken Edith to get her cataract
surgery done this morning. She only has one good
eye, so it is scary to put it at risk, but a
positive result will improve her quality of life
immensely. My back is really out again for the
first time in years. Have had new
x-rays/MRI/CAT/nuclear bone scans. For sure I
have more doctors than friends here. The new
cottage - maybe May now. They ran out of floor
boards so that set them back 1-2 weeks. We hope
to settle on stain finish this week. The
elevator is going in and some lights work. Also
some granite and most sinks are installed. I
wonder if it will ever be done. John is enthused
though as he thinks the end is in sight. We've
been lucky with the weather this "winter" (seems
like spring to me.)
1/31/08 Thursday
Ok. I'll keep posting, but it isn't fair that
you know about us and only email about you
rarely. You know who you are! Edith fell
yesterday and over our protest went to the
hospital because the nurse there called 911.
Nothing broken. John got her home and spent the
night as she gets up intermittently. I went
today and she is much improved. Could be
Parkinson's and antibiotics (for an infection
she has) don't mix well. The new cottage is a
pit! But floors start tomorrow - yes a week
late; doesn't everything take 50% longer than
expected? Kitchen cabinets can't be set until
the floors are down but then photos will be
worth posting. We
do have a driveway and some
working doors with hardware! Spike's ultrasound
shows minor change; cancer drug is working and
will "until it doesn't". He didn't have his
annual shots - the vet said "let's not bother
this old man" which made me happy, and sad.
1/19/08 Saturday
I miss snow; even Atlanta has it today. We've
got rain, but it is green.
The River Cottage has doors! Wood
floors go down next week as do the cobblestones
for the driveway. The wood planks are in the
house curing. They've "planted out" the
generator, a miracle of landscaping. Plus lots
of trees on the road side. Inside the cottage
looks more a mess than ever, but John assures me
that's what progress looks like. Maybe it will
be done by April? Edith's sister-in-law is here
from Atlanta for the weekend with her daughter
which is wonderful. Dinner tonight for all at
the hotel in the Georgian Room. Edith's house
went on the market last week - we're keeping our
fingers crossed for a buyer who won't tear it
down. Or any buyer actually.
January 2, 2008 Wednesday
I started the blog exactly six months ago. Is once
a month enough. I don't think anyone reads it
anyway & not much happens now, thank
goodness. That is much compared to July's
insanity. Spike still doesn't know he's sick and
seems to do fine on 3 legs. Cinnamon continues
with panic attacks at night leaving all of us
exhausted. The cottage progresses with tile and
bath cabinets being installed. Still no doors.
Grading was the biggest accomplishment in
December. Christmas and New Years we were here
and it was quiet. Edith is doing about the same.
My email has gone crazy; is it a MSN problem, a
virus or what? I still need a GA driver's
license and to adjust to this being home. I feel
adrift still. Have started to dread getting the
stuff out of storage in St. Louis. I don't miss
it and we have too much already. We'll have to
put this house on the market,
but won't till we are sure of a finish date for
the new one. They say it looks like late spring,
but that could mean anything.
December 2007
12/3/07 Monday
How did I miss November completely? Oh well, it
was a blur of moving John's mom, Edith, here and
getting her semi-settled in her 1400 square foot
apartment eight miles down the road. We are with
her daily and are seeing her progress even
better than we had hoped. Still it is *really*
hard. My brother Sam and family came for
Thanksgiving, our first holiday in almost 31
years of marriage with kinfolks (retailers don't
travel during "the season" and don't really
welcome company then either.) It was enjoyable
especially since I didn't cook. There's a reason
why we live in a resort area! The Cloister's
buffet and activities (tennis, pool, beach club,
bingo, golf, shooting etc etc) kept everyone
entertained. The pups loved the kids and I
realized they aren't kids anymore. John and the
cottage builders are tight. Still many things to
decide, flesh out and fine tune. I try to go
only once or twice a week so I see big changes,
but nothing photographs well now. Maybe once we
get a driveway or cabinets it will.
October 2007
10/30 Tuesday UGA beat Florida in football this
past weekend. It is as if they won the World
Series (FL beat UGA 15 of the past ~17 times
they played). I've now got two local doctors, a
dentist and a GA tag on the car. I've decided to
send out change of address notes instead of
Christmas cards, so I can take months to do it.
Spike is on a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory
cancer
drug. He doesn't
know anything has changed. A week from today we
pack up Edith and plan to move her in on
Thursday. We hope to have the apartment ready this weekend.
10/23 Tuesday If someone says "cheer up things
could be worse, don't or they will get worse.
Spike has bladder cancer; TCC, a malignant
tumor. I cry about this, but not about my
parents. How does that work? We were just in
Atlanta and Edith will move here in November.
John is now in Orlando going through 3
days of flight simulator training. He says it is
"fun and challenging"; they make all sorts of
things go wrong like the engine catches on fire
or just quits entirely or the electrical system
fails and everything goes dark. Not my idea of
fun but that is why there is chocolate and
vanilla. Better there than with me next to him
at 20,000 feet. His birthday is Thursday - 61
and he makes it look great.
10/1 Monday I know it is time for new cottage
photos; but I can't. It is covered is
scaffolding as they are putting on stucco. What
a huge, messy process. When it comes down I'll
update. Big news, Edith says she'll relocate and
soon, we hope. I'll be a great mover before it's
over, packing and emptying out four
full-to-the-brim houses in less than a year.
John joined the golf club less than 1/2 mile
down the street, "Ocean Forest" (its on the
ocean and has a forest; pretty unusual.) Once he
starts playing regularly I'll have to learn
as I've run out of excuses. We're hoping to make
it to St. Louis on Wednesday. I MUST GET A HAIR
CUT. Haven't had one since we left 3 months ago.
I miss Jason desperately. Cinnamon and Spike
miss Hania most of all and not because of hair
cuts. John has transitioned best, to a salon
yet, as opposed to his old love, Pete the barber.
Our tides this week are huge due to the
northeastern wind, full moon and other stuff I
can't explain. It is like nothing I've ever seen
before. Short of a hurricane some places it's
record water levels.
September 2007
9/25 Tuesday John is back in Atlanta with Edith,
making some progress on planning her move here.
The pups and I are enjoying the quiet but we
miss our Missouri friends and projects. The NYC
trip was fun, loved seeing Curtains on B'way and
walking our feet off in fallish weather. The
plane trip was uneventful and actually left and
landed early! Jacksonville airport is cozy.
Flying into LaGuardia instead of Teterboro in
New Jersey was a whole lot prettier. I'd
forgotten. John finally ate lunch with me at
Serendipity, my favorite. We've tried and failed
before due to crowds. This retirement stuff is
especially good when we get to do things during
the week! Since John has a lifetime
Bloomingdale's and Macy's employee discount I
spent time and money at both. Just wish either
had a store closer to Sea Island. We just got a
new Target though.
9/13 Thursday Edith spent almost a week in
Piedmont hospital after her fall and John was
with her the whole time. She is now home with
24/7 care and revised meds. She is not happy
about the help and would fire them all if she
could. Told him he "has no right" to do this to
her; she wants things back the way they were
(with only one caregiver three days a week.) She
has very little memory of her time on the floor,
which could have been 18+ hours. Scary. Meanwhile Spike has
had emergency dental surgery and I wonder if
this insanity is the new normal for our lives.
We are off to NYC today for the weekend. I
haven't flown commercial in two years, being
spoiled by having a pilot husband. Dogs will
have a sitter which is scary as the little guy
is not nearly 100% yet. I must learn to let go
some. I'm trying.
9/2 Sunday Poor John. He couldn't reach his
Mother all day yesterday and she refuses help on
weekends. By last night he was really concerned.
She'd fallen and could not get up. Just before
breaking down the door a neighbor's house sitter
found the only spare key. She was disoriented,
having taken no meds (bad for someone with
Parkinsons) so John drove the 5+ hours to
Atlanta. He couldn't fly
as we have terrible storms. We'd brought my
87 year old Uncle Jack and Judy here for the
weekend, so I didn't go. I'll drive them
back to NC and then go next week.
Maybe the sliver cloud is this will make her
move sooner.
August 2007
8/26 Sunday On Tuesday we go back to NC to
unpack there, finally, and do estate paperwork.
I hope to sell Mom's six year old Caddy that has
11,000 miles on it. She hadn't driven in three
years so that seemed right. I have a dentist
appointment tomorrow. Its a start. We gave in
and rented a storage area for the furniture from
Mom's house. We put two things here and they are
strong reminders. When does the grief stop? Last
night we sat on our dock with wine, cheese &
crackers and the dogs and watched the sun set.
Cinnamon loved looking at the water; Spike
snoozed. John said it might keep feeling like
I'm just visiting until that cottage is done and
we move in with all our stuff.
8/20 Monday The new cottage is growing. I hope to get
current photos up on the site by month end. They even "shot"
the pool this week. The heat wave is gone, and
so are the tourists. It is a great time on SI. I'm still writing notes and making calls
to friends about Mom and Dad. Have heard some
fun stories. Everyone asks about Max who is
doing great with Sheila. We hope to get John's
mom Edith to move to here to Marsh's Edge. Even I
wanted to get on the list after a tour. John
"We're building a new cottage just to move
to a retirement community in five+ years? I
don't think so." More meetings with people like
the A/V and security contractors. It's never
ending. John to spend four days this week in
Atlanta with Edith.
8/12 Sunday Visitors are a welcome distraction;
the Dukes, Stuart and family, the Ledfords and
Montupets from St. Louis all here over the past
six days. This week back to real life trying to
organize this house and the papers everywhere.
And do thank you notes. It's hot, but less so
than in St. Louis. Dreamed about Mom for the
first time last night. She was giving me stuff
to take care of for her. Not sad, but not happy.
I need a psychologist, but how do you find one
here? I'd settle for a dentist or doctor at this
point. I'll put it on the list.
8/6 Monday It has almost been a week; seems like
a month since I thought of the blog. With
pitiful Spike (& Cinnamon) we went to Asheville
to divide up my parents' belongings (life)
between the four siblings. I have two brothers
and a sister all younger. We each picked in turn
as my parents wanted. I will not do my estate
that way when I die. But it is done. Going
through photos, books, wedding albums, clothes,
handbags and such. Wrenching. Painful. Sad.
Having just done it with our own things to move
from St. Louis made it harder, not easier. As
executrix every file had to be looked at for
retention. We'll have to keep boxes and boxes
for 7 years! Lucky we have a basement our NC
condo. Just came back to SI last night. I am
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July 2007
7/31 Tuesday The vet took out the stitches, but
Spike still has to wear the "hat" and be very
restricted for four more weeks. *I* may not make
it. Many storms here, finally lots of rain.
Pressure is on to catch up for the many weeks
we've done nothing on the new cottage
selections. Countertops, tile for baths, endless
questions. I think new houses should come with
the bath and kitchen done; luckily John and Mary
are kindred spirits. She was here for
three hours yesterday with her bag of
samples. Today John goes to see the architect.
Without me.
7/29 Sunday John did come back, in between
thunderstorms. The boxes, all but one, are
unpacked. Have heard it takes six months to
adjust - that's when we hope we'll be moving
again into our real home. We visited it today;
the big news is *roofing tiles*. Just a few, but
it's big progress. I'll get new photos up (of
cottage and wounded dog) pretty soon. Maybe
Spike gets stitches out tomorrow, but he has
chewed whenever he can so it isn't looking
great. He is still a three legged hopper, but
has learned to wait for me on steps - most of
the time. He has weeks of recovery to go with
restrictions or it won't heal right. This may be
harder on us than him. There won't be room in
the bed for John tonight for sure.
7/26 Thursday John left yesterday morning for
Oshkosh where he can eat, sleep and breathe
airplanes until Sunday. I can unpack boxes, read
Harry Potter (yes, I read the ending first) and
maybe write some notes. Spike is wearing an "E"
(looks like a lampshade) collar as he *won't*
stop chewing his leg. He keeps forgetting how
wide his head is and running into things. I
haven't told anyone here we've arrived as I'm
just not up to being brave or charming yet.
Might never be at this rate.
7/25 Wednesday I am supposed to be ok by now. So
why do things like Mom's driver's license, which
I couldn't bear to toss, and seeing Dad's name
on caller id hit so hard? I know neither one
wanted to live without the other to spar with
and amuse and entertain. Doesn't help knowing,
as far as I can tell.
7/22 Sunday Spike looks like he lost a knife
fight. John had been calling him "Peg" and
"Tripod" but now he really is one. He hates
being confined, can't get comfortable and is
trying so hard to walk again with his three
working legs. Cinnamon is not a bit sympathetic.
He slept in bed with us which looked like a
bunker so he couldn't fall or jump out in the
night. I am trying to keep him from chewing or
licking the wound. No small feat. Still lots of
unpacking to do. I brought a down coat here?!?
Where we don't have or need coat closets.
7/20 Friday So I totally sob when leaving him at
the vet, saying I'm afraid he'll die. The tech
surely thought I was round the bend over this
dog. Could it have been everything else too?
7/19 Thursday John flew us to Sea Island today.
Spike's ACL surgery is tomorrow so we couldn't
stay in NC longer. There is still much to do
there, shredding high on the list; Sheila is now
in charge. Found 30+ used lipsticks, 13 knives
(mostly Swiss Army), 7 nail clippers, 6 electric
razors, countless pens and scissors. I must come
by my hording of those last two items
genetically. What if they'd lived there longer
than 7 years? Our cottage here is full of boxes
waiting to be unpacked, pictures on the floor,
wardrobes with clothes. Where did all this stuff
come from? St. Louis, and we'll move it
again in about six months to the new cottage.
7/17 Tuesday Notary. Banks. Paperwork. Death
certificates. Questions. Talking about it again
and again. Closing accounts and opening new
ones. Cleaning out the safety deposit box. So
many rules and details. Thank goodness for
Mrs. Goodson. At least we had a rain storm.
Spike isn't right. The vet here says still an
infection and prescribes new medicine. Haven't
written a thank you note yet. Mom is turning in
her grave over that for sure. This weekend I'll
do them, in Georgia where it is too hot to do
anything else. I feel homeless. So much to still
unpack.
7/16 Monday I am cursed. Got a flat tire today
on top of everything. Took AAA 1hr 20 minutes to
come and then the Acura dealer had to put on a new tire
despite the fact it was just a nail. Have found
endless nail clippers, emory boards, knives,
chocolate bars and index cards in the drawers.
Painful is almost used up lipsticks and Dad's
leg brace. Funny what hits your heart.
7/15 Sunday John and Cinnamon just left for
Atlanta. He has to do some stuff for his mom and
has been putting off going to be with us. Spike
is here as guard dog. Paid Riverside a visit
yesterday and Dad's flowers were still
beautiful! Mom's were not. Can't believe they
are there and not watching tv, waiting for me to
visit. Looking in the fridge was unexpectedly
hard; it is so personal and so them. Tomorrow
the appraiser comes to value the house contents,
and I'll meet with the estate lawyer. Lucky we
have Uncle Jack to advise us but he gave up his
license so I have to have someone else too.
7/14 Saturday I have
to write the day of the week, as my
perception of time has completely changed. Time
has become so long. Yesterday seems a week ago.
Bo agrees. So much change has happened it seems
impossible the funeral was just day before
yesterday. It surely was a month ago. Sam & Stu
went home to Atlanta yesterday. Soon I'll start thank you notes and emails. There have
been many from old friends. They have meant a
lot.
7/13 Friday Nice service, short and the priest
made humorous comments about Mom being always
nice and Dad being irascible. Since Dad was a
WWII vet the government provides a flag for the
coffin. John found that out when Frank died. Dad
really liked the idea (instead of having
flowers). 45+ came here afterwards, most boxes
are hidden away and I can't find a thing. This
morning I don't know where to start. Maybe I'll
clean as I find that cathartic.
7/12 Thursday Beautiful morning. John says it is
the pick day of this week for weather. The
family that scattered last weekend will all be
back today. Mom & Dad used to joke about a
double funeral and they came close to having
one. Two o'clock can't come soon enough. I left
the dogs at Mom's cottage since it was quiet
there (and a madhouse here) during the service
and reception afterwards . My pups kept looking for
Max who has a new home with Sheila. I looked for
my parents. Strange to have it empty, as it
*never* was. And to use a key when it was never
locked before.
7/11 Wednesday With lots of help (from Janet,
Stu, Sherry etc) John and I got our NC condo in
shape for company after the service tomorrow. We
unpacked what we had to, hung pictures and
filled bookcases. The unfinished part of the
basement is full of boxes. It has been a good
distraction. As I'm a "regular customer" the
funeral home rep came out here to sign papers.
7/10 Tuesday Dad died today very peacefully. We knew he
wouldn't live six months after Mom died, but no
one thought it wouldn't be six days. The funeral
will be Thursday at 2 pm.
7/9 Monday Movers arrived first thing and unloaded all
day. Who bought all this stuff and why did I
move it here?!? Boxes everywhere and no storage
as this is a cottage for goodness sakes.
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7/8 Sunday Stuart is with Dad. He began home
hospice care on Friday. No changes to how things
are, just more resources. John and I left for SI
to meet the movers who arrive tomorrow with the
rest of our stuff. The new cottage will not be
done until early 2008 so we will be "putting a
quart of water in a pint jar" (my husband John's
description) until then.
7/7 Saturday Mom's funeral. Dad is failing and
could not attend, he possibly had a small stroke
last night. Mom turned 80 on June 23rd and
their wedding anniversary was June 24th. After
57 years of marriage (most with him in poor
health) who would think she would die first? Dad
agreed yesterday he could not believe
it. Her birthday was a wonderful event with 50
extended family members attending and with Mom
and Dad really enjoying themselves.
7/6 Friday The third of our possessions which
were being moved to our Asheville condo were
delivered. Another third is now in storage in
St. Louis and the rest will be delivered to our
current Sea Island cottage this weekend.
7/5 Thursday Mother died early this morning. Max
was in bed too of course as was Dad, who was
sleeping right next to her. With each breath I
hoped she would not take another.
7/4 Mother is no longer self aware. The
Deerfield nurse, Misty, came to the house
several times and was so caring and wonderful.
She knew her well and at one point thought said
she thought Mom might even choose to go out on
the 4th of July. She almost did.
7/3 Tuesday To Asheville ASAP as they took Mom
off all meds and put her on hourly morphine.
After I arrived she knew me enough to say I love
you and when I asked what I could do to make her
more comfortable she said "Shoot me". Feisty to
the last.
7/2 Monday The mover finished loading everything
and the St. Louis house is empty - mostly. What
is left will go with us or Hania or be tossed.
Slept on an inflatable bed; easier on the dogs
than a strange place, especially with Spike's
torn ACL. Cinnamon thought it was great.
7/1 Sunday Our last weekend in the St. Louis
home. A bittersweet time with so much to do.
John's 93 year old Dad died two weeks ago (on
June 16th) and his 88 year old mother lives in
Atlanta; she's happy we'll be closer. Told Mom
I'd see her day after tomorrow and she said
"I'll be here."
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